Yikes December 31st already!!! In all honesty, I am really happy to see the end of this year. We had a wonderful Christmas filled with love and laughter (and lots of gifts too!). I crashed a little after Christmas day, I probably overdid it the week leading up to Christmas but it was all worth it, everyone had a really good Christmas. My in-laws were fabulous, my father in-law cooked the most delicious turkey and both of them have been so helpful, I can’t thank them enough for their generosity. They are off to their condo down South in the “french ghetto” and will be getting a well deserved break! Pierro was really cute on Christmas day. When he was done with dinner, he set up a chess board and wrote a note “25 cents to play”!!! He won against all his opponents and made $1.75, he was so proud of himself and I loved the belly laughs as he was “crushing” his opponents!
On the last day of school, the boys heard me say to a teacher that I was glad 2013 was over. I didn’t want them to think that I thought that 2013 had all been bad so when we got in the car, we talked about all the wonderful things that happened this year. Somehow being in the car is when I get the most information out of my boys. So we talked about the trip we took to Connecticut to spend time with my whole family, we had not been all together for Christmas for over 10 years! My brother and his family lived in Singapore and us here in Florida so the logistics were pretty complicated. We got to know our cousins more, the boys got to play in the snow and we even spent one day in New-York. Then we had an amazing ski trip in Lake Tahoe, this was definitely our best ski vacation (so far). And then we went to Jamaica for my 40th and also had a blast there, it was truly an amazing year in that regard. Pierro added to the list his chess rating reaching the high 800s and Sebastien proudly added that he was in the gifted program at school. Then I said that not so good things also happened this year. Pierro was quick to say “yeah grandma touched the elf” and I reassured him that the elf came back so we were fine. Sebastien talked about one of Fred’s cousin son who passed away in a tragic car accident. No word on my cancer… The boys do talk about it from time to time. They say kids munch at things, go play, come back and munch some more. One night the boys were insisting that I held one of their toy weapons and I kept telling them that I didn’t need it, I didn’t have any bad guys to fight, then Pierro said “but you need to fight cancer”. These are the kind of examples where my cancer comes up. On Christmas eve, as I was putting Sebastien to bed (who went to bed by himself early so that Santa could come to our house and insisted that the grown-ups go to bed early too lol!), he said to me “you know what would be a true Christmas miracle mom? if you didn’t have cancer anymore”, yes indeed it would be a true Christmas miracle… My boys are so sweet, I love them to pieces…
I really feel like I am headed in that “miracle” direction. I am having chemo today and just found out that my cancer marker (CEA level) went down again to 6 (from 15 last time it was checked). The normal is < 2.5 but my doctor said anything under 4 will be considered normal. Yay yay yay!!!! 2014 here I come!!! The best case scenario for me would be to be “NED” by the end of this treatment. Things are looking really good and I keep my optimism up but stay realistic that I may need some more procedures done. Not knowing is unsettling and as much as I can’t wait to be off the “big guns” chemo I am a little afraid of stopping a treatment that really works. I will have to learn to live with this and stop worrying about a recurrence. I am not sure how to do this yet but many people have done it and looking at someone like Kris Karr inspires me.
To all, Happy New Year, wishing lots of love, laughter, and good health!