On the cruise control…

I can’t believe my last post dates from 6 weeks ago! I guess I can say that in this case, “no news has been good news”. I feel like I am on the “cruise control” and will be for the next few weeks. I am getting used to maintenance chemo and other than the fact that it sucks, it is doing its job and my cancer marker is staying put, right where it needs to be, well within the normal range. I complain about the fact that every other Monday, after my infusion at the clinic, I need to go home with a pump that continues to pump chemo for 46 hours. I know though, that this pump slows me down and that’s a good thing, I tend to do too much. I tend to forget that I have cancer on my off chemo weeks although it is in the back of my mind and there are constant reminders. I am still dealing with the neuropathy from the “big guns” chemo but if this is all the damage I have, I guess I am pretty lucky, it could be worse. I saw someone I had not seen in a long time (and obviously didn’t know about my diagnosis) who told me she liked my “new hairdo”, I just smiled and said thank you. On this note, I had my first haircut last week since I shaved my head back in the Fall. It felt really nice to go to a salon and not to a babershop this time, although I liked seeing Myles and my hair tattoo! Going back to my hairdresser felt like a was closing a bad chapter. While Sebastien was preparing a Mother’s Day program at school, one of his classmate kept telling him that the picture he drew of me looked “like a dad”. My poor son apologized to me for not being good at drawing “a mom with short hair”, we just laughed about it, it was pretty bad I must agree lol! The program was beautiful. I was so glad that ALL the moms were crying because the tears were uncontrollably rolling down my cheeks. I had to work really hard not to start bawling. Pierro had the same teacher 2 years prior and had done this amazingly sweet program and back then, I had been emotional. This time, knowing how life is so fragile, made it very difficult for me. At least I could laugh at the fact that Sebastien was cracking up at me crying, all the kids were expecting it, the teacher told them all the moms would be crying! The funny thing though is that Sebastien proudly told his brother that he had made me cry and they both laughed saying that they had never seen me cry. This was a bit of a surprise to me as the weeks post diagnosis had been extremely difficult and I really had to pull myself together when I was around them but I did a good share of crying back then. I always tried to hide how sad I was and it made me feel like I had done a pretty good job if both of them said they had never seen me cry.

The next thing on the list is the Booty Run, the 5k run/walk that my friends under the lead of my dear friend Louise organized. They wanted to support me but I didn’t want my face on a poster that said “save Rachel” so together we came up with the idea of doing something that would benefit local cancer fighters and survivors. The run is on May 17th (and you can register through running zone!). It will be a really fun event, our family will be in costumes and we will walk together, at least Fred and I will, the boys may run! We have a friend who plays in a band who will come and play music and someone recruited an Elvis impersonator to come and entertain us. I have been involved with different aspects of the race which have sparked my interest in becoming involved in advocacy groups to 1) increase awareness of colon cancer and 2) increase awareness and resources for psychological help for the depression and anxiety that comes with cancer. More to come on this!

We are also gearing up for summer here. Our big trip this year will be going to Canada. The boys are registered for a French sleepover camp! They are very excited and I am reassured by the fact that my amazing nieces will be there as counselors and one as a camper. The boys will leave Montreal by train (like Harry Potter) to go to Gaspesie which is about a 10 hour ride. The plan is for Fred and I (that’s if he convinces me) to hang out in Montreal for a few days then drive close to the camp where my sister lives. I am still a nervous wreck about this, leaving my babies but I know that my own camp experiences have contributed to the independent and strong person that I am today. I keep saying that I hope they will still be talking to me after the camp!

So this is what I have been up to lately…

Happy Mother’s Day weekend to you all!

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6 thoughts on “On the cruise control…

  1. What a great post! But you forgot to mention your mean tennis game! You are learning to play tennis and you continue to amaze me! I can’t wait to honor you on May 17th!

  2. happy mom` day to you cousine , I was in the moutains by the Norway border 400 km. from Skellefteå 30 students 4 teachers skiing and getting tru snow wind and the last God sent sun jái pensé a toi tu aimerais ca la haut. hugs bisous and in Swedish Kram ruthie

  3. I notice that with your short hair your eyes seem to stand out and sparkle more. You are beautiful in so many ways. I am so looking forward to the Booty Run. Love u

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